The “Should” Cause of all problems!


This word holds the key to transcendence! Once you understand its value and the power that it contains, you will truly be able to meet the innermost gorgeous and extraordinary YOU.

We all are familiar with the term “root-cause”. A root cause is an initiating cause of either a condition or a causal chain that leads to an outcome or effect of interest. The term denotes the earliest, most basic, 'deepest', cause for a given behavior; most often a fault. I don’t say that Wikipedia does.

The path that I have chosen right now of trying to learn more about myself, understanding and analyzing the causes and its effect on my behavior and my thinking process, I have come to a realization that the root cause of most of the sufferings that we endure is this innocently disguised term “SHOULD”.

Some of the common SHOULDs that have been haunting so many of us in innumerable ways and controlling our decision-making mechanism are:

(i) We should stay calm in a stressful situation

(ii) We should know more than others in the same room

(iii) We should take good care of our health

(iv) We should be respectful etc

It goes way back to our childhood where we were told that we should behave in a certain way. Our choices and its graduating results were based on shoulds and subconsciously it gave birth to a confidence-sucking bacteria that made us see ourselves as this non-perfect, flawed person who craves validation from the outer world. You wanna know an undeniable truth about yourself?

You are perfect! You are beautiful and your shine is amazingly bright! Do not chain yourself up to this pillar of “should”, it has its own limitations, it will not let you go too far ahead in life. Accept what is in front of you with an open mind and let yourself have a choice. Replace all those shoulds with coulds so that the burning phoenix inside of you can rise again from its ashes. Give yourself a choice so your subconscious mind can decide and come up with brilliant ideas to achieve your highest potential. Try this out for a few days, whenever you are faced with a challenging situation that stresses you out, ask yourself, “Is there a ‘should’ in this problem that’s bothering me?”. If the answer is “yes” then simply accept it. Say it out loud - “Ah-ha! So that’s why I am stressed”. Say it in a way that you actually mean it, that moment of realization will take away most of your stress and will allow some space for your subconscious mind to prepare a magic potion that will resolve all your problems.

Your inquiring minds may not be very convinced with this idea but there’s no harm trying it out. If it works, that’s great! If it doesn’t, then we can always go back to our old pattern.

~ Anila Andezhath

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