I grew up learning from my parents, some well-wishers, relatives, and other wise-leaders that: - We all must follow the golden rule that explains that we shall treat others just the way we would like to be treated - We shan't be judgemental of someone else's decision or choices as everybody is trying to do the best of their ability at the given point in time - We should treat others with respect in order to be treated with respect - We must be polite when asking for a favor These are just a couple of examples that I am writing for reference. I have been in more situations than I can count where I was not treated with respect, denied a favor, humiliated, etc. After a point, it became frustrating and forced me to think that maybe this philosophy is not completely right and it may need some amendments. The way I am scrutinizing all the situations around me is by getting out of the situation, changing my role from a victim to a problem-solver, and then trying to zoom back in from a different perspective, this time to diagnose and fix the problem from recurring. What I realized is the fact that I've been going wrong about it all this while, I've been associating this golden rule with expectation instead of hope. Every time I felt the urge to be given special treatment either because of my positive contribution to someone's life or just a weekly ego-massage package that I had signed up for, I paused to notice the emotions that evoked this craving to be treated in a certain way. Most of them came as a result of an internal bug that was not doing the match quite right. I was unaware of the glitch till I took a self-analysis tour. Expectation and Ego had not just become best friends in my mind but these emotions started feeding off each other. It left me in shock to see how their companionship dominated the rest of my emotions. * I speak politely, I should be treated with great respect * I find peace in service, everyone should do that * I give my 100% to this relationship, I expect my partner to invest equally or more * I make sure to keep everyone around me happy, why don't I get appreciated more often? * I keep everyone's secret safe, I must be more trustworthy than others * My talent is proportionate to the number of likes and subscribers that I attract to my website It's a difficult task and I still fail at times but I am trying to rewire my beliefs and the sufferings arising out of those unconscious and unskilled belief mechanisms. I cannot control what others do or how they behave, the only person I can control and upskill is myself, it's my mind that can channel the incoming emotions and convert them into a perception that I would carry on, why not try to make it a positive one! The weight of hope, faith, acceptance, and compassion together is lighter than the weight of the ego alone. Hoping for a result rather than expecting it has proven in giving me the freedom to maintain a harmonious gap between all my other emotions. I am not detaching myself from anyone, I am practicing to penetrate through these emotions and look further to connect with the inner beauty of people around me.
~ Anila Andezhath