Chapter 17 - Accepting Yourself

In this day and age where social media has taken over control of everything including the little decisions we think we make out of “our own choice”, what does it mean to accept yourself, and more importantly why is it such a game-changer?

I am not the first and definitely not the last person to point out that we are getting more and more comfortable with our loneliness, building stronger and taller walls around us to stay protected, to hide our true selves just to be accepted by the people around us. Don’t believe me? Look around you;

1. The number of your social media followers defining your success

2. The different angles of the camera dictating your posture in real life

3. The amount of time you spend running away from people and into the world of technology

I could go on but you get the point! It’s painfully true that for some people, being happy simply means being all over the internet, always updated with the new filter, or a new challenge that’s floating around. Little time is spent in actually understanding their true nature. As a result, an increasing crowd of people suffer from similar heartbreaks, similar self-esteem issues, and similar failures. It’s like there is a pattern in all of these cases. If you can spot it in yourself or others, break it!

The reason accepting yourself fully is such a game-changer is because YOU are unique, the more you try to blend in, the more you’ll end up covering your true shine. You’ll be surprised to know what a magical unique creation you are if only you let yourself be YOU.

  • Do you know someone who always keeps saying things such as “I am bad at so and so”, “I have a really bad memory”, “I tend to attract problems”, “I am clumsy”, etc?

  • Do you know someone who tends to change the topic or get super defensive when they’re put in an uncomfortable situation?

  • Do you hang around people who like to use expensive products/gadgets just to maintain that air of superiority?

  • Are you one of them who gets paranoid thinking their calls are recorded/chats been screenshot and thus they never express much?

  • Have you or anyone you know recently picked up a sudden interest in some commonly conspiratorial topic such as Depression, Feminism, Racism, Religion, Media, etc?

  • Have you or someone you know recently started a new diet regime or has taken up a new physical training program?

You might be wondering what does this have to do with people not accepting themselves fully? These are all the choices that most people make to be “seen” in the crowd. The easiest way to accept yourself is to ask yourself every time you decide to do something for yourself.

Here’s a little challenge:

Try to sit without any technology around you for an hour and note down how many times do you come across a thought that requires you to check your phone

  1. (You may remember to message an important contact, would want to see the time out of nowhere, would think of a picture you clicked a while ago and many more distractions would lure you into checking your phone)

  2. Do you like dressing up? Can you spend hours getting ready and not click a single picture? Not meeting anyone but just dressing up for yourself?

  3. Can you look into the mirror and say “I love you” to yourself without feeling embarrassed?

  4. Can you truly admit that you don’t know something without self-criticism or egoistic cover-up? I’ll give an example to describe this behavior.

(i) Could you please teach me how to use Google Maps? I am really bad at all of this (self-criticism)

(ii) Could you please search this location for me? My Google maps is acting weird for some reason / I’ve bought a new phone and I am still getting used to it (egoistic coverup)

Why is there an explanation required when you are asking for help? Is it too hard to accept that we may be a work in progress in something? The examples above are just for your understanding, now see I had to explain myself because I too, just like you all are a part of this social hurricane but I am trying, I am trying to learn to be truly comfortable in my skin. It’s been going pretty well so far, it’s a fun exercise to know the reasons behind all your actions, to see yourself more compassionately, to forgive others, and truly accept that everybody here is trying to do their best and there is no need to judge anyone’s actions.

On that note, there is a new update that I’d like to share. I would invite my readers to decide which topic I should pick up for my next blog. Email me or send in your suggestions on chat and I shall share my thoughts on it!

Till then! Stay sane :)

~ Anila Andezhath

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